Befriending The Negative Voices In My Head

What makes me listen more to the negative voices than the positive ones?  Is there any wisdom in them? How can I stop being angry with them?

So many of us get caught by the negative voices in our heads and ignore the positive ones.  Have you ever notice if a friend calls you with a problem, you tend to put things aside, make time, listen, support, and give advice, in essence, spending a long time with them on the problem.  Yet, when a friend calls with good news or wants to go out to celebrate you tend to give it less time and will even put aside less of your own priorities to celebrate them? How about when you are feeling good, that is often ignored, and, if you have a stomach ache, headache, backache it keeps grabbing your attention and you can’t stop thinking about it so easily.  

Why is it we focus so much more on the negative voice than the positive?

We are naturally wired for self-protection.   Our bodies go on alert and will take a posture of self-protection.  When this protective stance does not release from our body it is held in the body’s memory. One could say, “Every cell in the body has consciousness.” At the moment of the event, the consciousness in a sense sets in with certain protective thinking. At a future moment, these thoughts come up and a negative voice can set in with fear statements to protect us.  The “what if” list gets longer and longer as time goes on and the release does not happen. Over time it gets so loud it drowns out the positive voice. Our imagination increases with worst-case scenarios. Soon it feels like truth and makes logical sense.

The negative voice seems so realistic. It starts to dictate our actions, our involvements with people, places, and things.  It gets us so convinced we start relating to life as if it was accurate. We develop various belief systems and understandings based on this little voice.  It wins the argument in our head.

Underneath these fear statements is the natural instinct for self-protection and survival.  Understanding that this negative talk has a positive intention is a key to breaking out of it.  Once we recognize this we are:

1. No longer identified with it.
2. Our inner observer voice has gained a stronger part in helping us see, understand and sort through things.
3. Our muscles relax a little more.

When we are caught in the battle we get tighter, more irritable and frustrated.  The old advice of taking 10 breaths, stop talking pause, walk away, are all techniques to help us separate from a negative interaction, be it within ourselves or with another person.  Other ways to get to work with the negative voice inside you are:

Journal and write a dialogue between the positive and negative voices

Inquire into the negative voice, get to know it like a long lost friend.  So much can shift when we befriend those parts of us that we are mad , angry or frustrated with.  Much like if someone in your life bothers you. When you act mean things get worse, not better. You may be surprised to see what wisdom is in that voice.

Some inquiry statements may be:

1. What are your concerns?
2. What makes you think that?
3. When did you first start to think like that?
4. What was happening when that thinking started?
5. What do I really need to feel safe?
6. And keep asking but what does my negative voice really need?

Pray for help and support from your highest wisdom, or any source you pray with.

Such actions open you up to a positive will/intention/possibility for a shift.  Once we take such an action, it shifts our energy, loosens things up, and more possibility happens.  With more space and possibility there is room for more options, more choices. Sometimes our fears are held so tight we may need a stronger shift such as a body sensation or movement like:

1. Aromatherapy.
2. Sound therapy – listening to relaxing sounds or music.
3. Color therapy – breathing in a color, looking at colors or working with color light.  
   1. A way to work with color and imagination is to ask yourself what color is my negative voice, what would the opposite color be?  Imagine breathing in that opposite color as you take ten deep breaths. Notice what happens.
   2. Another way to work with color is to think of your favorite color, wear it, put it around you, and/or look for it in your environment.  

Life is mainly love and light and working with color is a powerful way to shift our emotions.

For more support to get to the root of and heal the fears of the negative voice feel free to contact Cynthia Schwartzberg, LCSW at Cynthia@cynthasis.com; 917 816-3534. www.cynthasis.com/

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