Listening to Your Inner Voices in a Busy Season
For many of us, this time of year gets loud. On the outside, we hear and smell seasonal flavors, in traffic, music, and seasonal scents while entering stores or gatherings.
Some parts of us may love it, and some may feel overwhelmed. For example, have you noticed?
- A part of you that loves the lights, foods, or rituals
- A part that feels dread when a certain person or event comes to mind
- A part that wants to say “yes” to everything
- And a part that would prefer to stay home in soft clothes with a cup of tea
This is when we may be celebrating specific holidays or navigating extra family and friend expectations, community events, or work parties.
This season can stir up many inner voices, leading to confusion or exhaustion, especially if you’re trying to navigate between others’ expectations and your own authenticity.
The good news is: Those inner voices are ready to be heard, and below are some tools to help you navigate and listen.
We’re All Made of Parts
In my work and personal inner world, I’ve learned ways to work with my inner parts. The world has many names for them, and each of us relates to the general words. Some common names are:
- A Pleaser part who wants everyone to be okay
- A Rebel part who’s tired of old rules
- A Younger part who remembers feeling left out or hurt
- A Responsible part who says, “You have to show up.”
- A Wise part that knows you’re allowed to do things differently now
These parts can get louder under stress, and the holidays can trigger some of their loud voices. Many of us try to silence them or ignore them, which can make things worse. Do phrases like these sound familiar?:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“Just get through it.”
“Don’t make a big deal.”
Even when those inner voices get louder, ignoring them only pulls us further from authenticity and inner peace. The desire to live more authentically naturally leads to greater peace, gratitude, and calm. When we’re willing to turn toward those uncomfortable feelings instead of pushing them away, we acknowledge a part of ourselves that’s been trying to get our attention. Just like a child who escalates their behavior until someone notices and supports them, our inner world often settles once it feels seen and understood.
One of my favorite ways to do this is a process called Meditation with the Three Voices.
Meditation with the Three Voices
This three-part process helps you connect with different aspects of yourself, one at a time, and then connect them with one another. It’s especially helpful when you’re stuck in an inner tug-of-war about a gathering, a conversation, a boundary, or how you want to mark this time of year.
I invite you to sit quietly as you explore the information below. If you want a video explanation, click here: A PDF is available here:
Voice One: The Healthy Ego
This is the part of you that says, “Okay, something’s going on. Let’s look at it.”
It’s not the most emotional or the wisest; it’s simply the organizer.
- Name the situation in one or two sentences.
- “I’ve been invited to this get-together and I feel torn about going.”
- “I’m expected to call, but a part of me really doesn’t want to.”
- Name the tension.
- “Part of me wants connection; another part feels tight and tired.”
Write out what this part is saying, and how it’s defining the pain point for you. Once we put it on paper, we start identifying it instead of being identified with it. We are stepping into curiosity.
Voice Two: Scared/Shy/Protective Voice
Next, turn toward the part of you that feels the most upset, scared, angry, or resistant. Often, this feels like a younger you, or a very protective guardian.
Let this voice speak freely. Write as much as you want in free association style. No censoring, judgment, or editing. If you are comfortable, move around, and more expressions may come while you move.
In this section, you might be surprised by what you hear and how strong this part is:
“I never liked those people, and they make me feel lousy.”
“I don’t want to be the only one who notices the tension in the room.”
“I’m tired of going along so no one gets upset.”
You don’t have to fix anything. Listen and stay open.
Voice Three: The Wise Voice/Higher Power/Higher Self
Once you’ve heard a lot and feel like you don’t know where to go next, invite in a different presence: your Wise Voice.
This might feel like:
- Your grounded adult self
- A deeper inner knowing
- A spiritual or intuitive sense of guidance
Take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor or the support beneath you.
Then ask this Wise Voice to speak to the upset part. It’s a great time for more journaling. As we write, we pull from different brain regions and activate more areas. Some surprises may arise, leading to more truth and clarity.
Explore with curiosity, but do not try to fix. Stay curious and dig deeper. Get to know it. We all want to be heard and understood. This part is similar. Stay open to the unexpected. Usually, after a little bit, a softer pain or clarity will come.
Example:
To deepen the process, you can imagine a brief conversation between the Younger/Protective Voice and the Wise Voice. You might write it like a dialogue:
- Protective Voice: “I’m scared it will be like last time.”
- Wise Voice: “How so?”
- Protective Voice: “I felt trapped.”
- Wise Voice: “How so?”
Notice what happens in your body as you write. Is there a bit more breath? A little less tightness? A hint of relief? Has the original pain had time to heal?
You might close by placing a hand on your heart, belly, or wherever feels right, and state out loud a new truth.
Small Shifts, Real Change
You don’t have to transform every relationship or love every gathering.
But you can:
- Listen more kindly to your inner voices.
- Adjust your plans so they fit who you are now.
- Allow rest, boundaries, and genuine “yeses.”
- Take small, new steps instead of repeating old patterns.
Those small inner shifts add up. Over time, they create a life that feels more like yours beyond old rules, expectations, or fears.
If you try this Three Voices Meditation with a real situation from your life, I’d love for you to notice what changed. Even a tiny bit that brings more ease, clarity, or self-respect is worth celebrating. Often, the change is about how we feel differently on the inside and respond to outer situations differently, even when we still show up to those situations.
I wish you an amazing holiday season, however you choose to embrace this time of year.
For Brainspotting Therapists
If you’re a Brainspotting therapist and want to learn more about how we work with Parts in Brainspotting, I’d love to go deeper together.
I’ll be offering Brainspotting and Parts on December 14–15, 2025, a training focused on integrating Parts work with Brainspotting so you can stay more attuned to your own internal system and your clients’ parts in the chair.
If you feel called to explore this, you’re warmly invited to join us.
https://cynthasis.com/event/brainspotting-and-parts-december-14-15-2025/
