Yesterday was the full moon. I’m someone who has the lived experience first, then someone close to me who loves astrology names what might be happening, and it often helps me make sense of what I’m experiencing. Whether we view it spiritually or simply as a natural rhythm, the full moon can be a time to pause, reflect, and recommit. January’s “Wolf Moon” also makes me think of the power of a pack: staying connected to what supports us as the year unfolds.
The big takeaway I’m carrying forward
As I reflect on what this moon offers, my big takeaway is simple: wait and reflect. Waiting for the unknown, the unexpected, as the new year unfolds. And reflecting on what’s been, as the festivities wind down and a new year emerges.
This may begin as a seasonal idea. But it’s more than that. Waiting and reflecting are relational and clinical skills.
How often do you plan what to say next?
Whether you’re in a conversation with a friend, a colleague, or a client, I’ll ask: how often do you catch yourself planning your next sentence while the other person is still speaking?
In Brainspotting, we train therapists to focus on the moment and to WAIT. It can sound like simple silence, but it’s actually a form of attunement. A few inner questions help guide it:
- Why am I talking right now?
- Whose agenda is this?
- Am I staying with what’s happening or managing my own urgency?
Because it’s in the wait, the pause, the silence, that so much can happen. It happens inside us, and inside the client. Every moment is like a new universe filled with possibility. When we break the silence too quickly, we may unintentionally interrupt what’s trying to form.
When we’re truly present, we make room for what’s emerging rather than steering it with our urgency.
It’s like the rhythm of breath: inhale…pause…exhale…pause…inhale. Or the ocean: the water moves in and out, and yet something remains, carried forward for the next ride. We don’t always know what will stay, what will soften, or what will be ready to emerge next.
That’s also true in the therapy room (and in everyday relationships). We never fully know what someone is processing, thinking, or getting ready to share. When we’re busy preparing our next statement, we’re no longer with them. Even subtly, we can lose connection.
Sometimes the urgency comes from our nervous system. Sometimes it’s fear of not being valued, included, or “getting it right.” It could be a multitude of other reasons. And while that’s human, it can accidentally hijack the other person’s unfolding. As a therapist, or as a deeply listening friend, our job is to notice that pull and return to presence.
When I truly wait, I notice something almost every time: the person shares more. I become less focused on what I’m going to say and more focused on them. This helps me feel calmer inside. In therapy, I often hear connections form in real time that continue to surprise me. And those unexpected connections made in the client’s own timing can be quietly excellent for healing.
Micro-moments are where things shift
In a micro-moment, a multitude of things can happen: thoughts, sensations, emotions, impulses, meaning-making. And what we choose to focus on influences the next moment.
The pause is not “doing nothing.” The pause is how we stay connected long enough to discover what we couldn’t have planned.
And the good news is: you can catch yourself in real time. You can take a breath, soften your eyes, and notice an anchor in your body. That small pause is often what makes room for what’s true to arrive.
In Harmonic Brain Healing, we also support the nervous system to unfold, moving from one sequence to the next at the client’s pace, guided by what emerges rather than by our agenda.
A small offering for your year ahead
Today, I found myself revisiting an older YouTube video I recorded: Self-Spotting for Shifting Stress. If you’d like a gentle support as this year begins, something that invites you back to presence, I invite you to watch it and see what it offers you.
If you do watch, I’d genuinely love to hear what stood out. Just one sentence is perfect.
If you want to go deeper
If this theme resonates, presence over urgency, waiting without forcing, letting your next true step reveal itself, this is a thread we’ll be weaving through The Curious Voyage class coming up at the end of the month.
