Over the years, many clients have come in saying, “I’m anxious, and I can’t seem to control it anymore. I went to the doctor, and they couldn’t find anything wrong. But I’ve had sweats and stomach problems, and I haven’t been eating right. What’s happening to me?”
Often, when I ask whether anything different has been going on, the answer is surprising.
For example, a client might say, “Not much. I did get a raise at work. My mother and I are getting along better. And my partner and I have started talking about getting married.”
The doctor has not found a physical explanation. Everything on paper is going right. Yet the body is responding as though something is wrong.
The part that keeps watch
I remember something like this happening to me right before I graduated from college. The pain in my stomach became so intense that I ended up in the emergency room. Then, just as the doctor walked in to see me, I began to feel better. I have wondered about that moment ever since.
Have you ever had something like this happen to you? Something good arrives: graduation, promotion, new love, a part in a show you had longed for. But instead of relaxing into it, your body tightens.
Change, even good change, is powerful. Anxiety and excitement can feel almost identical in the body. And with expansion often comes a quieter, unnamed fear underneath it: Will this last? Is this real? What happens once it actually settles in?
The new may also bring more responsibility, and some part of us may wonder whether we can live up to it. Once there is something to lose, a relationship, a role, a future, there is suddenly more at stake than there was before. So we brace.
It may be that a part of you is keeping watch. Somewhere along the way, that part may have learned that things going well can carry their own kind of risk. It may remember a time when things looked fine right before they were not. Or it may be so used to staying in control that even good change feels unsettling.
Whatever it is responding to, this part may be trying to protect you.
What can unfold
When working with this kind of anxiety with Brainspotting, I might begin by asking, “What is your relationship to this anxiety?”
Sometimes what emerges is surprising. Underneath the anxiety may be judgment—a whole layer of self-criticism for feeling anxious in the first place, especially when everything is supposedly going right.
As we stay with that, it may become clear that there are two parts in conflict. One is carrying anxiety. Another is judging the person for having it.
That judging part is often familiar. Sometimes it echoes someone from our past who told us to stop feeling what we felt, to get it together, or not to make such a big deal out of things.
Other times, it belongs only to us: a part that learned to hide vulnerability before anyone else had the chance to react to it, judging us first so it could feel more in control.
In this kind of process, we may work with both parts using two brainspots, allowing attention to move between them. As the process continues, something may begin to soften. Old memories may surface on their own. Self-compassion may begin to take the place of self-judgment.
The person may leave with a felt sense of relief that was not there when the session began.
Every session moves at its own pace. Sometimes a part needs long, slow tracking. Sometimes two parts need to be held side by side. Brainspotting allows the process to follow what the system actually needs, whether that is one part, two parts, or a conversation between them.
This is more common than you might think
Many of us have felt some version of this: anxiety showing up just when things are finally going well, followed by a second wave of judgment because we think we are supposed to be happy.
One part may be trying to keep us from being blindsided. Another may have learned that showing what we truly feel carries risk, so it judges the feeling before anyone else can.
These are often old protective responses, still doing work that made sense at one time.
When we meet these parts with curiosity rather than frustration, they may begin to soften. We can shift into a body-felt sense of knowing: That was then, and this is now.
Want to try this yourself?
If this resonates, you might enjoy the Three Voices meditation from The Curious Voyage to Authenticity. It’s a simple process for meeting your own parts with curiosity instead of frustration: the wise voice, the part that gets things done, and the part that is still hurting.
For Brainspotting Practitioners, join us for Brainspotting and Parts Work training in Atlanta and online this October. Brainspotting and Parts Work October 25-26, 2026 – Cynthasis
Disclaimer: This reflection is not meant to replace medical care, diagnosis, or treatment, but to explore how the body and nervous system may respond when no medical cause has been found. If you are experiencing new, severe, or concerning physical symptoms, please consult a medical professional.
